Abide.

I thought that yellow means “Floor it!”.

Flying jets is what he does after he puts on his pants and makes gold records. Cock-of-the-walk, baby!!!

He’s obviously referencing the most successful football team in the state: the 5-time (and current) Division II National Champion Northwest Missouri State Bearcats! #OABAAB #TrumpSucks

Sounds like your diet is lacking in Vitamin F. May I suggest Powdered Toast?

You’re darn tootin’!

On a related note, I had a hernia repair surgery. I got loaded up on good painkillers and didn’t shit for nearly 4 days. I finally dropped a deuce that took nearly an hour, was as hard and the size of a goddamn anvil, and I’m sure it actually killed me and I’m living a scat-induced version of The Sixth Sense.

Monorail! (It put Brockway, Ogdenville, and North Haverbrook on the map!)

A young girl from Wisconsin has to go to the hospital after receiving a dangerous prick? I was wondering what had become of Mark Chmura.

“Referred to as a sand trooper”...Yeah, they’ll blend right in with all that black sand that’s out there. The Empire is so inept. Makes you wonder how they became an “empire” in the first place.

When you go in, ask for “The Penis Mightier”. Tell them Trebek’s mother sent you for an additional $50 off.

His name is Robert Paulson.

They won’t bother him. He’ll be upstairs masturbating.

Yeah? But how much syrup should I pour over my Johnny Cakes?

Well I’m not braggin’ babe, so don’t put me down, but I’ve got the highest BAC in town.

Mmm....mmm...mmm....mmm

Ah, the C3, the Peyton Manning of cars.

Let’s face it, we all knew the world would be ending in ‘16 when we heard Abe Vigoda died. God is done fucking around. This is the year everyone goes.

Who you callin’ pussy, fool?