For those that cancelled their subscription to The Knoblauch News: the guy *ahem* chucked a humidifier (not a humidor, Emmitt Smith) at his wife.

Indeed!

Too small. Can I get a larger one for the kids?

She works for Fox. Have you seen the "talent"/eye candy they employ in their news division. They know how to pander to their audience.

While we're asking, who cares about professional baseball? Bunch o' overpaid grown men playing a game they should've outgrown around 14. And why does Hollywood make comic book movies that bring in billions of dollars? Those are for kids.

It takes a big man to point a gun at an unarmed woman. A 6'4", 250 lb. Division I football player-sized man. Way to go tough guy.

Her brother, Encyclopedia, could've pointed that out.

Did you just call Tony Dungy a "spade"? RACIST!!!!!! Get him!

He wants $230,000 & the guy paid $66K? Yeah, let me go ask my buddy, who's an expert on getting shot by Elvis.

Jake Ryan approves.

Richard, do I have a mark on my face?

So, you're saying she got a job with Fox because she's attractive. I think the ladies at Fox News should investigate this...while wearing something low-cut, preferably.

If you can't trust Deion Sanders with meeting the educational (and apparently, nutritional) needs of your child, who can you trust?

You're right, they're not for everyone. "It's a Jeep thing; you wouldn't understand". Also, to your other point, there are a lot of "mall crawlers" out there , just going to waste.

Like R. Lee Ermey once said, "Guts is enough". Here's what I learned to drive in; & what I currently drive:

As an ex lax enthusiast, this was a pretty shitty take.

This guy still would have the high score.

They just want to achieve attention & status. Sincerely, George Will

Somebody get audio of the eulogy. That'll be some awesome, Brasky-esque stuff.

Technically, that was a bit from Airplane 2, but I think the court will allow it (courtroom smiles).