Just post everything with Jacobs. That guy was fucking gold. Gold! I says!

I want the one on the left.

In a related zero fuck-given story...did I roll the windows up on my Jeep? It's supposed to rain tonight.

Unless it's 2AM, January, and it's sleeting/raining. Then fuck him. Fuck him in the ass with a halligan.

Except for the fact that firefighters put their lives at risk when they have to clear a burning home to make sure there are no squatters inside or if there's a meth lab inside & there's an explosion, or if there are high winds that spread the fire to occupied residences. I'm a firefighter-this shit ain't cool. Fuck…

I get it! Sweet burn, dude.

Or South Carolina...especially if you're an NFL player & black. Or just black.

3 in a year?!? You may want to re-evaluate your driving habits, or invest in a radar/lazer detector.

That 3rd Farley movie? Beverly Hills Ninja or Almost Heroes. Take your pick, as they were both awful. The "Look at fatty! Fatty fall down & make funny!" schtick just goes so far. Looks like this may be the female version.

He needs his wife to clean up the mess he made at work. Yep, sounds like he needs to be given a gun and a position of authority.

Good, this'll help weed out the smart ones. Dumb women are easier to Jedi mind trick into bed.

If your Wrangler has no dents, scratches, or permanent stains from mud...you're using it the wrong way. -'03 Rubicon 140,000 miles, beat all to hell, yet virtually unkillable.

If they both "agree" to a tie, then it's bullshit. This is a tournament. Play to win the fucking game or don't bother playing at all. Why would anyone watch if we know it's going to end in a tie? Fucking soccer, man.

To paraphrase another football coach, "You play to win the motherfucking game.".

TV??!? How about shittiest radio broadcast? Look, Denny (pause 30 seconds) Matthews (pause 30 seconds) may have been something (pause 30 seconds) back in the day, but (pause 30 seconds) he's fucking insufferable. Ryan?

"This kid's got some balls."-Mick

Great White Hype! The first thing I thought about!

That place gave me a $20 gift card, but later asked for it back.

The old man took me out to the pasture in his old CJ, gave me the rundown on how to do it & let me have at it. He also taught me how to change the oil & curse like a sonofabitch once you realize you've stripped the threads on the plug.

Well, the GOP want a government that has a foundation based on religion, easy access to firearms and a limited government presence in people's lives, so, here ya go!