Technically, that was a bit from Airplane 2, but I think the court will allow it (courtroom smiles).

Just post everything with Jacobs. That guy was fucking gold. Gold! I says!

I want the one on the left.

In a related zero fuck-given story...did I roll the windows up on my Jeep? It's supposed to rain tonight.

Fuck me in the goat-ass (look it up, *ahem* kids) this is pretty awesome. Well done.

Unless it's 2AM, January, and it's sleeting/raining. Then fuck him. Fuck him in the ass with a halligan.

Except for the fact that firefighters put their lives at risk when they have to clear a burning home to make sure there are no squatters inside or if there's a meth lab inside & there's an explosion, or if there are high winds that spread the fire to occupied residences. I'm a firefighter-this shit ain't cool. Fuck…

I get it! Sweet burn, dude.

Or South Carolina...especially if you're an NFL player & black. Or just black.

3 in a year?!? You may want to re-evaluate your driving habits, or invest in a radar/lazer detector.

That 3rd Farley movie? Beverly Hills Ninja or Almost Heroes. Take your pick, as they were both awful. The "Look at fatty! Fatty fall down & make funny!" schtick just goes so far. Looks like this may be the female version.

3 was a load of manure. Mary Steenburgen's character was so grating, it left me hoping they would have just drove her ass over the cliff & left history alone.

However, scientists did concur that all primates inherently recognize and appreciate the greatness that is Motörhead. Lemurs love Lemmy.

Prof. Rogers=top men

They say you only use 10% of that sculpture.

He needs his wife to clean up the mess he made at work. Yep, sounds like he needs to be given a gun and a position of authority.

Good, this'll help weed out the smart ones. Dumb women are easier to Jedi mind trick into bed.

If your Wrangler has no dents, scratches, or permanent stains from mud...you're using it the wrong way. -'03 Rubicon 140,000 miles, beat all to hell, yet virtually unkillable.

If they both "agree" to a tie, then it's bullshit. This is a tournament. Play to win the fucking game or don't bother playing at all. Why would anyone watch if we know it's going to end in a tie? Fucking soccer, man.

To paraphrase another football coach, "You play to win the motherfucking game.".