As a Yankee fan, I’m dusting off the book I bought back when they signed A-Rod, called “How to Rationalize Rooting for an Asshole.”

Let’s be honest: Those people don’t have friends. Unless “friend” is defined as “Someone you happen to be familiar with who will listen to you talk about yourself endlessly”. 

Wait, so they were “visiting a friend” when they noticed they were out of juice, and their friend wouldn’t let them leave the car there to charge? 

Joule thief!

But if everyone is walking around you for 20 years telling you what a great guy you are and how great a job you are doing, you will never see your mistakes.

Please allow me to introduce myself. I’m a man at war with panes. 

Color announcer sounded about 5 seconds from just going over and punching Allen in the throat which, although unorthodox, I would heartily endorse.

Grayson Allen looks like Joffrey Baratheon.

Suicide. Is there a shortcut this guy won’t take?

ApathyMonger sure seems to care a lot.

I’ve been a commuting cyclist in Chicago for over a decade. I’ve been hit a few times and had 2-3x as many close calls. I pass ghost bikes (white-painted memorials for cyclists murdered on the city’s streets) daily and it never gets any less haunting. What makes me ache even more about every preventable death…

Since we’re generalizing to all cyclists and car drivers.... let’s remember that when a car driver does stupid shit to a cyclist, cyclist gets killed. When a cyclist does stupid shit to a car, maybe a dent.

Yes, this is a much better analysis of the at bat.

Japanese hand-ball contact is usually obscured by pixelation anyway.

One of their all-time-best bits. That whole subplot is delightful.

“Tell my wife my last thoughts were of her......blinding and torturing Abe Simpson.”

The appropriate reaction would’ve been similar to that of Dodger Ross Stripling when Christian Yelich took a pretty good pitch of his and put it in the stands.

Old George Carlin bit.

Plain and simple, unless you’re passing, stay the fuck out of the left lane.