Did you watch the bad lip syncing video of the first debate? Benny was a dark horse of humor! Who knew!

I want to hire a lady to follow me around in a wedding dress, accusing everybody I see of “Ruining my wedding day!”

I don’t even think Pho counts. Pho’s an entire meal, while soup is an appetizer.

I LOVE HOT AND SOUR SOUP. Like I really just want to put my face in that bowl of soup right now.

I prefer my unicorn kitty.

wut? are you waving your towel around like a damn maniac? Because I can’t think of a single time my towel has gotten soaked from drying off in the shower, which I’ve done for the past 30 years.

RE: Getting out of the shower: I don’t understand why people do this either. My wife, who is otherwise a wonderful person, soaks the entire bathmat, bathroom, and half of our bedroom every time she steps out of the shower. I don’t even understand how her body can physically hold that much water on its surface.

awww, its a sweet love story. they got married in the end. you should send it to hollywood.

That is NOT milk, it’s a cruel, cruel hoax that makes my mouth really sad.

especially if you are into exhibitionism. the cast members CAN see you. there are cameras everywhere. you are being watched. fortunately, only the absolute cream of the crop of disney cast members ever get to work in the haunted mansion and they are much too professional to ever say anything. (seriously, there’s a…

I hate when I get snow in my crotch at the beach, too.

I mean, there are people willing to vote for Ben Carson, so.

I don’t know but apparently I have 2 pints of vagina in my fridge that need some love!

“yes, the tops of the mountains have sand, those are inverted beaches. and the blue stuff above them is the water”

She proceeds to explain to him that only a hamburger contains meat, and that a cheeseburger is vegetarian. She says she knows this because she has been to McDonald’s in London literally *hundreds* of times in the last few years, and that a cheeseburger is always vegetarian when she orders one!

I know, right? I got into libraries so I could smack books out of people's hands and then stab their eyes out. Perfectly logical.

“What’s homo milk? Is this milk from GAY COWS?!” he demands, utterly* seriously, even angrily.

Pinkham - could you do a post regarding the experiences of bartenders and cocktail waitresses? Weird customers, cutting people off, idiot requests? As a concept, it’s not restaurant-oriented per se, but I bet it would be amusing.

Just to be clear, by ‘Devil’s Advocate’ you really mean ‘Homophobe Apologist’, right?