Alas, the U.S. borders were mostly closed to Jews attempting to escape Nazi Germany, to our eternal shame.

I’ve been the family pierogi master for years now and a savory dry cheese filling is not as good as the classic sweet filling is. Using farmer’s cheese, some sour cream, egg, a squeeze of lemon juice, grated zest, pinch of salt, a good measure of sugar and a dash of vanilla creates a filling that is heavenly.

I mean, it looks like Black car is backing in while Silver car is trying to nose in. This tells me with near certainty that black car is in the right and was there first. No one who knows WTF they are doing noses in, to paraphrase a very wise sitcom character. 

Although, accidents do happen on the golf course. When my mom was growing up in New Jersey, one of their neighbors died in an accident on the golf course where his head accidentally wound up under a golf club a few times, unfortunately only a week after he got out of prison.

I knew it would be her the minute I read the headline. She’s awful.

Yes! Salem was more endearing BECAUSE he looked like a fake furry evil muppet, not in spite of it!

Everything I hear about Melissa Joan Hart convinces me more and more than she and I could never be friends. I realize there’s no way she’s broken up about this, but still. :P

Hate to burst your bubble Jason but its already in Europe for past 1 year..

You can have the glitter, fine.  But so help me, if you come for the confetti, you’re going to have a fight on your hands.

Buy a cat toy? Buy a cat toy? Tell a cat “No, drop it” and you have an instant cat toy. Try to take something out a cat’s claws and you have an instant cat toy. Try to tie your sneaks with a long lace and you have an instant cat toy. Drop a bottle cap, a ballpoint pen, or a hair tie and you have an instant cat toy.

Whatchamacallits are bomb, as are Chunky bars. No one ever talks about them, but they're like Gorp The Candy Bar and thus are delicious

I guess I should be happy  nobody “Blessed my heart” yet.

KFC is garbage food anyway. I can be at a Bojangle’s or (preferably) Popeye’s in the same time as it takes to get to a KFC, and they will give me something other than a bucket of grease

“Just curious, what the heck does the guy want the restaurant to do?”

Apologize.
Reimburse the money.
Replace the order.

“They made a mistake.”

And they blamed the customer. 

“Suck it up and stop whining about a petty fast food mistake.”

Fuck yourself.  How about that? 

Replace them the next time the customer comes to the store, like a responsible manager would.

i’m being sarcastic... should have included the /s

Well saliva is a natural lubricant but coconut oil makes it taste like Almond Joy

I said it was in New Jersey.

I dont understand how Twizzlers are “offensive” to people. They are chewy strawberry ropes. Red vines have no flavor, texture, or aroma other than a vaguely flour-ey mouthfeel. They are the equivalent of the shitty brownies from a box at the middle school bake sale compared to the mom who can actually bake rolling out…

YOU ARE SO COMPLETELY WRONG I CANT EVEN STAND IT!!!!!