I’ve come to the conclusion that the disdain for authority (yet deep longing for a Father figure to tell you what to do) in conservatives is a direct byproduct of American Protestantism. Protestantism bucked authority, but when you put a bunch of religious zealots and criminals on a continent with scary woods without…

oh, good, i had been worried about this delicate summit but didn’t realize trump was bringing his world famous interpersonal skills and renowned knowledge of human nature to the table, phew

My detailed analysis is as follows: a bunch of fucking assholes bought the Newsweek brand, and put their fucking asshole editorial slant on it.

Damn.

When it leads to your impeachment.

I am a sci-fi fan, but I hate Star Wars, and their fans are big part of the reason. They act like anything that isn’t a white male or a man in a teddy bear costume is the most offensive existence possible. Star Wars fans are the worst.

I have renamed my steel toe boots “The Straight Unvarnished Truth.” Could we arrange a test of your theory? With proper control subjects of course. They can be regular toe boots.

Flight from police is evidence of paying attention to the news and to prior encounters with police.

That is the weirdest ass hotel I have ever seen. It looks like someone had Stonehenge Envy

He’s really not working to shake those small hands optics. It doesn’t help that he’s posing with it like a dainty granny gripping Valentine from her favorite grandchild.

I mean I can’t wait for the day when men decide to stop participating in things so I can finally go to a party and not have to worry about being touched inappropriately or having gross comments made to me or being hounded around the room by some fucking dude. Oh, please, no, don’t stay home! Whatever shall we do…

KID, HAVE YOU SEEN MELANIe?

You can just feel the hatred and contempt for Trump eminating from her in that header photo. Just look at his reflection in her sunglasses, she has to be that close to him every day and yet she somehow restrains herself. DO IT MELANIA. DON’T REMAIN COMPLICIT. SAVE US ALL. BE THE HERO WE DESERVE, BUT NOT THE ONE WE…

The ABC reboot of Roseanne was dark as shit. Good on the network for killing it, but how the fuck was that right wing garbage on my television in the first place? Has there ever been a tv show that basically catered to the beliefs of racists? And don’t gimme that All In The Family bullshit. That show was liberal as…

A guy in a bar asked me to smile. I asked him if he’d request the same of the angry looking muscled bouncer. He asked me why he’d do that. I asked him why he’d ask me.

I’ve tried phrasing it to men like this:

I won’t lie, I had a genuine moment of weepy joy just now.

You could say that the slingshot pilot did not appreciate the change in... Delta-V.

Can we all agree to say “he turned into Space Jam” instead?