Or, you could ask if they would like help. Just assuming they are not good at a task is pretentious, and also douche-y. (or in your case, bitch-y).

Every time I see her name, I pronounce it ‘Stasi’. Remember them? East Germanys version of the SS, I mean, KGB?

So....basically, nothing happened to this douche except the publicity got him more subscribers?

Of course he’s not going to eat the piglets. He has to wait until they grow into ham and bacon first....

If it tastes good, who cares what it looks like. I know, I know....’you eat with your eyes first’. But my eyes don’t need the food. My belly does. I frequently cook things that are absolutely delicious, but look like regurgitated dog food.

No OXTAIL? No Creamy Wild Rice? No Navy Bean?

Warren has the best idea of cancelling some of the debt, but not all. It’s a helping hand, and not a handout.

When asked, the correct answer is always ‘Nunya’.

UPDATE: Tim Hortons has released a statement stating that while they were wrong to deny the customer the sale, it is not their responsablity to ensure homeless people have toothbrushes or a bed.

Pfft....I was making pot-themed sandwiches back before sandwiches were cool. 

Never have I been prouder of my German heritage than now, when my people denied the nectar of the Gods from the scum of the Earth.

The Obamas, Bono, the Edge, and the Clooneys are on vacation together having fun without out us.

I’m starting a new form of yoga. It’s called ‘F**k off and leave me alone, I’m napping’ yoga.

Barber: What you looking for?

Taunt Karma like that and it’ll send it’s Dogma to bite you in the ass....

For a while, food was not a high priority in my budget. But I got creative. I’d boil up some ramen noodles, without the seasoning packet, then drain off most of the water. I’d add to the noodles a 1/4 lb of browned ground beef. Then I’d sprinkle on the seasoning, and thicken the soup with a water/cornstarch slurry.…

Roy Moore has delusions of grandeur. He doesn’t realize that times have changed because he’s stagnated back in the pre-civil rights era.

Except it’s illegal to smoke/vape indoors. Also, it’s against the rules of like, every school, that tobacco/vape products are not allowed on school grounds. As a member of the school staff, I can’t go to my truck and have a smoke unless my truck is off school property.

LaVar Ball is just a male version of the Kardashians. The only reason people watch him is to see how far he can shove his foot in his mouth this time.

If you created it, you shoulda put a patent on it! Or a trademark. Or whatever would apply to.....fuck! It’s just some cloth being folded. I’d bet Koopa-Troopa wasn’t the first to do it. Just the first to fleece celebrities for cash because she showed them how to do it.