I’m sure he’ll try to parlay this into something bigger.

Weird move. I’ve never seen a Pete Rose interview that didn’t leave me thinking he’s kind of dumb, a bad communicator, and has an off-putting and uncomfortable way about him. He’s like exactly the opposite of the kind of person you want to put on TV.

Please don’t read this, then.

Mark, I hate to be the one to point this out, but friends don’t take friends to Olive Garden.

Waiting for the update that she’s just been hired at Fox News

not sure how this is edited, (did she talk shit then realize she’s on camera? or realize she’s on camera and continue to talk shit?) but if it’s the latter, she’s dumb, if only for the fact that she knows she’s on a camera and continues to be an asshole.

I was almost sad that Amy Sedaris would be gone forever from our late-night lives, but then I remembered who’s replacing Dave

Not even the best Nadia Comaneci humblebrag! I like this one:

jet-setting model and new wife

“It’s hard for me to watch American Idol because I have perfect pitch.”

I think this one is my favourite:

Why did they ask Taylor Swift to write about Ina Garten?

Bow down, bitches. Also, this photo makes me want to wear gloves.

Tay-Tay only learned about Ina 5 years ago? God, she's so basic.

I even invented imaginary takes: the announcement of the Bruins firing their GM came about 15 minutes later, for instance—surely someone would make an ill-advised attempt to tie the two together?

Can I just say how much I’m enjoying the wrong crossword answers? For some reason, those get an audible giggle out of me every time.

Jurors asked by media if they thought Shayanna told the truth. They all laugh and say, “no comment.”

You hate to judge a man based on his appearance and his past transgressions, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t see this coming. The tattoos. The hard-living lifestyle. The insistence that he was “on the outside” and that everyone was “ugly” like him. I just hope the rest of the guys in Staind can keep the fire…

Meh, I don’t really even have a witty comment to make. Probably the only thing that comes to mind is good riddance, and what an absolute moron. He threw away his entire life for nothing. All of the money he stood to make from football is gone. All of the potential on-field success and accolades are no more. Most…

“shoppers’ fixation on promotional prices” I see so many brands blaming customers for this! Don’t set your prices so high and then have 30% off all the time if you don’t want us to get used to it.