unsettling proportions

Are we sure he is from Romania?

Fuck high school.

Naw, I proudly strode down my high school’s hallways displaying my brand loyalty fully believing it would help get me a lunch table upgrade.

+2 cities

Reporter: Can you describe how you felt when you were offered the scholarship and then when they rescinded it just two weeks before signing day?

Yeah - she’s all like “Come at me, birch!”

I wonder if beating up trees makes her poplar at school. Hey, I’m just ashing questions.

I’ll be watching the queerest thing I can. In fact I had 2 new years resolutions. To be even more queer and to nap more.

I feel like I’m wearing a tin-foil hat here, but here goes: something in the meeting is leading the dems to think Comey himself is compromised at this point.

I did Nazi that coming.

In fairness to Sessions, he’s a lying piece of human garbage. That’s it.

Cheeky monkey.

“I want to put macaque into that deer” -the monkey

Farmer Wilson walks over to Farmer Jones’ place and says

Antler? I hardly know her!

“Make America petty and shitty again”™

“Ernest Ruins Everything”