2nd glass of wine, 2 Aleve, and a Xanax

A cup of hot chocolate with tiny marshmallows and a bowl.

Somebody hold me. I’m breaking out the modeling clay in my desperation for a self soothing mechanism.

What are we drinking people? So so so anxious about this inevitable shitshow of a debate (I’ve been dreading it all week!), so I’m getting drunk. I’m sure I’m not alone! I decided to go trashy and mixed a Sonic Cherry Lemonade slush with a lot rum.

Those hands

This is what pisses me off about this. In most mental health care facilities workers are generally paid less than $12 dollars an hour to non-violently deescalate situations like this. My mom worked in a group home and got punched so hard that she had a black eye for over a month, and if she had retaliated or hurt…

John Oliver could butter my biscuits. That is all.

“Ladies call me Mr. Cranberry Pill”

“You like soup? I bet you like soup.”

Aren’t sexts supposed to be, um, sexy and not just disgusting?

I don’t feel curvy; I feel lumpy.

i can almost smell the drakkar noir through the picture...he’s attractive, but also looks like he’d be the first to say so.

i long for the day they bring you to justice for killing that buzz, hhyf.

And now, your Friday feels:

One of the worst things about this election is learning exactly what percentage of Americans are total monsters.

“We don’t care!” yelled supporters in the crowd

I don’t know what to tell you. It’s been the top banner ad on my Netflix for like a week.