I got trapped in a sports bra in a dressing room last week. MY GOD THE PANIC! I was eventually able to calm myself and gently struggle my way out.

Oh, there’s more than one way to send a message via eggs:

But what about Steer Fucker:

How is it vindictive though? If she truly believes these embryos are already little lives (they’re not, but she seems to regard them as such), then this offers a solution that allows them to be used and eventually become actual living beings without forcing him to become a parent with his ex against his will.

...but 15 year olds can be obnoxious as all hell.

You’re a dragon truther. I get it. But it’s totally a phoenix.

According to AP, school is leving the fine on itself, basically to avoid action from conference.

“Too much wine...” *face rub* “...but I haven’t finished my manicure, so soldier on!”

RIGHT? For real, this looks exactly like Curt Schilling. He’s the Portland Pooper. CASE SOLVED.

I think you’re on to something!

That cover. YES.

Damned hidey-ass bears!

We got a great waterproof liner from Bed, Bath & Beyond, but I still don’t feel like washing the sheets every time. So I have a not-so-sexy solution: puppy pads!

And now I’ve kind of bummed myself out at the thought of a lonely, neglected, yacht sex-bot.

She already did it for the New York Times!