omgomgomgomgomgomgomg!!!!!!!!!!

You deserve a fucking purple heart for making it out of that situation alive — damaged, no doubt, but alive. (And for not killing anyone else in the process. Unless you did. Which would be totally understandable.)

Oh, the smells! So many fucking awful smells over the years.

The Worst Thing You’ve Ever Seen on an Airplane...

Yaaasss!

Yes! Why can’t safe and courteous driving be cool? This cause needs more celebs.

This is truth. Soak it in.

It looks very ... “Can you hold my plastic ‘glass’ of white wine on ice? There’s no way I can keep ahold of that while I hit these slots. Mama’s playing two at a time!”

#icareverymuch Gimme food porn!

WHY THE SWAN GOTTA BE BLACK?!?!?!

Every day and twice on Sunday.

It’s tater tots.

Mashed potatoes cover a multitude of sins.

NEED!

True story: Man thought I was flirting with him the other day (I WAS NOT) so he tried to cool off my hot flirtation (WHICH NEVER HAPPENED) by awkwardly shifting our business conversation to the topic of his plans for that evening — plans he had with his “lover.”

Well, Cady, maybe if you wish real hard...

She’s saying that Taylor’s parading the pit-women-against-other-women argument about (“about,” in this case, meaning around). She finds this ironic, as she views Tay as one who “unmeasurably” (and yes, “immeasurably” would have been the better fit) capitalizes on the takedown of a woman (meaning Perry herself,…

Yup! But I can’t remember if that’s Schumacher’s Val Kilmer Batbutt or Schumacher’s George Clooney Batbutt.