My relatives never really got me gifts, I saw most of them that one day each year, they all asked the same redundant questions and none of them actually gave a flying shit about how I answered those questions. I relate to her because it's a bunch of fluff that neither of us care about. I'm now 28, single, no kids,…

If two people who seemed to have literally been made for each other (by Vincent Price as The Inventor) and had perfectly subverted the issues of cohabitation can't make it, who among us can? I'll take this as proof that humans weren't meant to mate for life.

That's got to be one of the most 90's movies ever made.

In other situations, sure. But this kid is an idiot. Also, I am fat. I am allowed to fat shame other fatties.

Were they Dee's Nuts brand?

Watching people not understand how the Constitution and legal precedents work fills with me so much glee.

Oh rich people's Beanie Babies.. I can't wait until your market crashes.

I can't handle the emotional rollercoaster that is "WHENS IT GON BE?!?!?"

The person who sits in the cubicle directly across from me watches this show like it's her job. As she is the only person I have ever met who actually watches, I'd say it's geared to the morbidly obese, middle-aged, mentally unstable demographic.

All I see when I try to read your articles is your boyfriend's face as he watches the movie you tricked him into seeing. :(

I'm tempted to take my fiancé to see this, especially after his 2 Girls 1 Cup breakdown. Good going Mark. Hilarious.

"Filed to: Clitoreos"
I'm dying here

Time to start knitting sweaters for cats. And yelling at young people.

Alas, no. What it means is that when you reject a guy, instead of being called a "stuck-up bitch", you'll now be called a "fat slut". Happy days!

Who the fuck are these creepy-ass dudes?

So......what does this mean for future support for the non-Microsoft Minecraft ports?

(stealing idea for later)

I was a teen right before smart phone ubiquity and can't even imagine how bad my insomnia would've been if that were added to the equation — I was up until at least 1 am every night just ironing my hair, reading COSMOGirl!, posting on The Strokes' fan forum, writing incredibly cringe-y stuff in my diary, giggling with…

Everyone's too busy sexting to actually meet up and have sex.

I'm from Boston, even in my worst moments I haven't yet that kind of racist dribble. I doubt that in "fear" we randomly blurt our most hateful racist commentary.