CBP officer goes home at the end of his (and let’s be honest, it was statistically probable that it was a white guy) shift to beat his wife, and/or into bathroom sink. “I did a great job at work today!”

Killing time until he gets the call to show up and throw paper towels at people.

“I would have been your dad, but the dog beat me over the fence".

Beer that tastes like piss AND privilege.

Did you see that Aaron Sorkin show “Newsroom”?

And that's just one of the Chads that we know about. Imagine what the rest are up to.

Oh yeah, man. Optimism can be its own kind of poison; all the times I assumed the better of a person (in a position of power) and they proved me wrong. Too often to count.

Uninspiring person has website with uninspiring design.

This may take a while to complete, so I am hoping Trump is in jail by the time any president is going to be shaking hands with the new Congressperson representative. I would personally find it an auspicious start if that ceremony avoided empty platitudes.

For example, indigenous governance in Canada is largely under the Indian Act. The sole fact that is what it’s called should give some pause, and it only gets worse the more you get into it.

Indigenous affairs has been done TO indigenous people, and not with indigenous people. This is an amazing opportunity to decide if we're going to repeat the mistakes of the past or try to go forward together. Give them everything they ask for, full stop.

Futurecrime!

Hey samesies! Though I have dialed back the pot to once a month, due to psychosis.

Can’t wait for this to resurface in six months, under the Facebook title “Simpsons PREDICTED Trump’s feud with The Squad years ahead of time!”

Dayum! That belongs in your "tight five".

NRA: putting your money to acts of terrorism, foreign and domestic.

Well, one of them died by pulling a vending machine (that he was trying to break into) on top of himself. I consider that a form of suicide. Negligence resulting in death of self, anyway.

I never thought of myself as anything at all, until kids at school saw this bullshit show and called me a nerd, in the derogatory sense. That was the beginning of seven years of being bullied.

I have predicted that mass shootings in the United States will continue until at least 2031, but will end before 2310. That’s using a Bayesian theorem and the mass shootings statistics from Mother Jones.

Only game I have ever played where I had to press every controller button at once: “AC: Phantasma”