Basically, the customer made a slightly lame dad-style joke about serving whisky on tap, and Paul decided to be an ass and assume the customer was being serious.

By over 30% of people not voting.

People in Canada and the UK vote too.

You say that as if the point of a frappachino weren’t that it’s a milkshake that you can pretend is coffee. And yeah, if coffee places could stop being pretentious for a second and just advertise a product as “a milkshake with a bit of coffee in it”, I’d order that.

In the customer’s defence too, he doesn’t actually say he wants to impress his date. He just asks them to “do him a favour”. The author infers it’s to impress his date, but he might just really like pancakes.

I really don’t understand people who complain about watered-down drinks. It’s the same amount of alcohol, that your body will metabolise in exactly the same way, regardless of there being a bit of melted ice in it, and the flavour is barely changed at all.

The Lake Tahoe woman MUST have been doing some sort of performance art project. There’s no other logical explanation.

Also; why do women go to the bathroom in groups? And why does it take them so long to get ready? And what’s the deal with airplane food?

Lilly didn’t fail to form a cogent response so much as choose not to attempt to. That seems like a reasonable response to your poor attempt at trolling.

More specifically, why do they always think you like them or want them when you don’t? And conversely, why don’t they know when you actually do like them, either?

I’m afraid that’s still how the courts operate today.

I’m more curious to know how much SEX is normal.

I know Calvin Harris isn’t exactly a penniless bum, but it really seems like of the two of them Taylor is the one with the assets that need protecting.

They could paintball a lion, but I think you’d have to be ready to make a quick getaway if you did.

The grief athletes have achieved many personal bests this week. They haven’t won this many gold medals since Robin Williams died.

I can’t understand the impulse to want to kill an elephant. But there’s a tiny part of me that really really does want to know what elephant tastes like. True story.

Who still pays for things by check? What are you; my grandmother?

I get a weird itchy feeling in my throat if I put kiwi in my smoothies. Did your smoothie have kiwi in it?

The thing about New Yorkers being jerks is; jerks aren’t equipped with the kind of self-deprecating sense of humor that would allow them to accept the joke with good grace.

I think this one’s a team effort, to be honest.

If there’s one time I don’t want pictures taken of me, it’s when I’m eating a bucket of chicken. Don’t look at me! I SAID DON’T LOOK AT ME!!