Little known fact: this is how the Forester was born.

I for one will be disappointed if Golden State chooses not to go to Washington. Opportunities like this come along once in a lifetime, if that. I think the Warriors, provided they receive an invitation, had better think long and hard about how to respond. It is a personal meeting with the Goddamn President of the…

We debated this one for a while trying to parse out Scherzer’s exact string of words, though some of them are pretty obvious. I think we’ve settled on “fucking bastard motherfucking bitch motherfucker” and now I can’t see it any other way.

“Live and Let Die”, the only Bond theme that rocked so hard that G’n’R covered it.

Ah fuck. You’re right. I’m an idiot. 

Methinks the Ley-dy doth protest too much.

He’s never been IN the black either.

In Atlanta they call that ‘the bottom of the first’.

Listen, I really don’t want to see Pittsburgh win another cup, but are we going to allow our nation’s capital to become a continued source of Russian happiness?

Boris is the best guy in the NBA. Not the best at playing basketball, just all around best guy.

“Damn. Clippers getting hacked was kinda my thing.”

There’s no way Nenê got any MVP votes.

Why doesn’t the NBA mind the player-for-a-day thing when it comes to Derrick Rose?

Derek Jeter is happy he retired before this existed

I need to get to 10 turnovers tonight

Actually, he’s a Spur.

Here’s a good tweet:

I ref squirt and peewee leagues. ($36 per game). Even 10-year-old defensemen get salty. I gave a misconduct to a kid for calling me a “fucking asshole” when I caught him buttending an opponent on a faceoff. Since these kids can’t and shouldn’t drop the gloves, you have to drop the hammer. I gave him a major penalty…

Either that, or I’m a cytopathologist who recognizes that cutting funding to Planned Parenthood has consequences beyond fewer abortions.

Allow me a brief moment of soapboxing-