Ha. Dick joke. Classic! Classic! Rogen! You did it again!

Oh god. Turn to Buzzfeed? It'll just become a bunch of pop culture "lists".

Worst. Superhero. Ever.

So we just re-post day-old Gawker articles now? Is this what we've become? Nothing makes sense anymore. Why is my hand disappearing?

"Kids are gonna eat this s*&t up! Looks at this cute f*&king hunk of garbage! You slap it's dumb, little face on a few old, drained D-cell batteries, slap on some paint and a like a laser cannon or some s*&t and KA-CHING! The money just walks into my f*&king bank account! Where cocaine-bot! SOMEBODY GET ME…

"Are You Afraid of the Sharts?"

One of my word lawyers is getting fired immediately. I'm done with their buffoonery.

While we're taking phrases that have fallen out of fashion and getting VERY serious about them I think it is only fair to throw out that I now own all of the rights to the usage of the following terms:

Humanity's looming existential crisis is just beginning though!
(DeLonge gives a half-assed thumbs up and quickly drifts into a thousand-yard stare into the distance)

It's a great time to invest in tin foil. Stocks are gonna go up, up, UP to the mothership.

The one detail I dug about the most recent Friday the 13th reboot was that they explain his moving around so quickly due to old mining tunnels running through the area. It just made a bit more sense.

The Gooch received a doctorate AND a professorship! Madness!

And the privacy. Just great all around.

This was neat. Now please do "Fast Times at Ridgemont High."
My brother and I were in CA for the first time in '99 and were excited to be at the mall from the movie. Then we realized we were just at some random mall.
I need closure.

I'm never NOT entertained by someone wearing an American flag bandana to be patriotic.

I sing into a hanging work-light every chance I get.

(poops onto Hungry Hungry Hippos board-game. Makes hippos eat with gusto. Posts video to Youtube. Dies alone.)

It was all f*&knig "beeps" and "boops". I thought I was hearing an old Cosby standup routine for a minute.

Spin the wheel of fish! (Thousands of people negatively affected by outcome. Spinner somehow profits enormously no matter what)

I DID NAAAHHHTTT SUPPORT THE THIRD REICH!