I thought he was going to be the Penguin in Justice League. I smell a scheduling conflict (and possibly gun powder.)

see: Skinemax on Friday nights

This just in, grown man Producer thinks this news is worthy of three exclamation points in sad f*&k Twitter post!!!!!! Hollywood baby!!!!!!!!!

(stares unblinkingly into a static-covered television set as a single tear rolls down)

John Travolta is totally down for that other half of your sandwich.

That's Cruz's "Should I undo one more shirt button? Yeah, I think I will" face. Then the roofies kick in.

There is a pretty flattering picture of his cashew-shaped head leaving his mother's birth canal. I think they used it for one of the debates.

So the Dagon Cult prophecy is coming to fruition. It's been a good run my fellow Americans. Let's get going I guess.

Shasta Carvell! That's my favorite melted-ice cream flavored soda! Wait. I think it might also be the term for weed-filled ice cream cake in the shape of a whale.

Merlin is god damn incredible. The women having a normal conversation on the street and then one of them launching into being infertile out of nowhere is just such a weird dialogue choice.
"No Grandpa Borgnine! No!"

I believe there are a couple available on Hulu. There's about 8-9 Rifftrax on there.

Hey-o!!!!! (imaginary golf swing)

What couldn't that f&*king guy do?!

The Happening 2

The ending bit went on too long and then just kind of thudded to a halt. The monster bits could be great though. Especially the multi-colored outside feast they try to throw to increase morale.

I smell a future Rifftrax. Please.

I tried this at my last job when a report was due. They just silently slapped the pink slip on to my grit-covered chest and shook their head as they walked away. The look isn't so bad-ass when you're sobbing and packing your desk.

Scott Stapp was wicked excited for a hot minute that AV Club cared. Nobody wants to hang with Stapp. (sadly puts hands in pocket and kicks dirt)

(Kanye tries to hold too many awards in his arms atonce and they all fall to the ground loudly. He starts sobbing until his wife plays with his butt a little)

Then Biggie put his hands on his knees and caught his breathe for like 5 straight minutes.