praise be

No outlander. No sons of anarchy. No Jane the virgin. Happy about Tatiana at least.

I couldn’t decide which gif to use

Any place that has their own way of using language, their own unique vocabulary, especially replacing strongly negative words with softer sounding euphemisms, is generally a place to stay away from.

I SUPPORT THIS!

FUCKING AMANDLA STENBERG FOR PRESIDENT OF EVERYTHING

WHATEVER, you are all just jealous of those smokin hot chicks that won’t stop calling me

Well I found a new go-to phrase in, “face-sit-ready beard”. Thank you, thank you so much.

I do that w boxer briefs because they make my butt look great and I enjoy emasculating men by wearing the underoos of my previous conquests in their presence.

I scrolled past this article on Facebook and then scrolled right the fuck back up, because gotdamn.

There was one really cute guy who was buying tons of underwear and other clothes and he kept giggling nervously as I scanned his underwear, WHICH WOULD LITERALLY BE ON HIS PEEN AT SOME POINT SOON. It was practically like I was, at that point, touching his peen, by the commutative property or something. Damn, I loved…

the only purpose of boxers is giving me something to steal and subsequently wear as pajama bottoms for the rest of my days as a trophy and testament to my accomplishments

I like blonde dude’s chest hair.

I WISH Drake was doing something to me. I have suggestions.

Momma I’m finally going to date that nice Jewish boy you’re always bugging me about.

I’m beginning to see what the whole #murdermyvagina thing was about.

You ideas intrigue me and I would like to subscribe to your newsletter.

Rihanna still doesn’t want you, Aubrey.

I want to know what he’d look like with his natural chest hair. With that beard, you know he’s got some. #TeamChestHair