Oh, I’ll play transatlantic linguistics with you :)

Not just cola. Dr Pepper is coke, Sprite is coke.  Southerners are weird like that.

Yeah. As a Brit, I was shocked when I moved to the US and heard people using the word “spaz” so casually. It’s really offensive in the UK. I told Americans I wasn’t comfortable hearing them say it, and I got a load of “well it’s not offensive here so get over yourself”. I’m not at all surprised Lizzo didn’t know it…

It only tastes like Coke if you’re from the South and you call all pop/soda “Coke”. If you call Dr Pepper or Sprite “Coke”, then La Croix/balsamic vinegar tastes like Coke.  

As someone who had to replace their kitchen linoleum after dropping hot charcoal from a used BBQ onto it, it wouldn’t surprise me. Don’t grill indoors, people. In my defense, I was young (early 20s) and stupid.  I’ve never been near a DIY BBQ anything since.

My other half yelled from the kitchen, “The Depp Heard verdict is in!” and I yelled back, “Good. Now, can we never hear from either of them ever again?”  Neither of us cared what the verdict was, as long as the whole bally lot of them go back under the rock they crawled out of.

You can’t kill a mass of people with a handgun. If the only guns available had only six bullets, at least that gives one brave person (not a cop, though, obviously) a chance to tackle the perp while he changes guns or reloads. There shouldn’t be civilian-owned guns that *spray* bullets.

The band 10cc is named after that specific amount of spooge. A teaspoon is about 5cc.  Maybe men who use the metric system produce more?

Ted Bundy wasn’t bad looking, but still not someone a girl should go on a date with.  It’s not always about the looks, Ted.

“Douche-bro dating app overwhelmingly male”  So ... this isn’t an Onion headline then?

Nope. Pedo here clearly means “people with feet”. Democrats have feet (except maybe Tammy Duckworth, and even she has metal feet). Bi-pedal Democrats, as opposed to Republican knuckle-draggers who basically walk on all fours.

Yup.  Was massively, massively disappointed with Junior’s.  Seriously over-hyped.

I always thought they used mashed potato for ice cream shots, due to the hot lights, but yeah, those cones do look like frosting.

It took her several goes to pass the baby bar. The = first year of law school exam.   She ain’t anywhere close to passing the bar-bar.

I can’t tell the two women apart in those photos at the top. Is it not the same woman, with and without sunglasses?

Topless Putin on a horse = best thing ever

No one asked, but here’s my advice to protestors everywhere, and especially in Bangor, Maine: For fuck’s sake, don’t say please next time.

I have no idea how to pronounce his name. Is it Doubt-Hat? Do-That? Dough-Twat?   Douche-Hat seems as good as any other guess to me.

They used to call that job the “Groom of the Stool”. Wipe the king’s butt, carry a commode around everywhere in case the king needs to go in a hurry, and generally have his ear about marrying your daughter into quasi-royalty. Only open to nobs with titles, and unpaid. But the bennies, oh the bennies.

I’d like ‘em to just do less legislating about stuff that doesn’t affect them, in general.  Don’t want an abortion?  Don’t have one.  Don’t like circumcision?  Don’t force it on your baby boy.  Don’t like tattoos and nose rings?  Don’t get them then.  People who do have tattoos and nose rings are mostly just desirous…