I had no idea in-store Home Depot hot food was a thing.  I have never seen it at any Home Depot.  I have lived in Seattle and the California Bay Area.  Starbucks in a Target store?  Yes.  Hot dogs in Home Depot?  No.  My mind is blown.

Sounds like tiffin, which is pretty common in Britain.  Refrigerator chocolate cake.  The Queen loves it, Prince William had it at his wedding.  I just made it for my birthday last month.

“Rich Paul brings his girlfriend to the game to sit next to LeBron”

They do their own tweets?! I thought all these big companies had social media interns (who can be blamed/fired when shit goes south).

I have no opinion either way on Nicholas Cage, but I wrote one of my French A level essays on “Truffle Pigs in the Dordogne” so that’s a subject close to my heart. Even if Cage were in the suckiest movie of his career, I’d watch it for the truffle piggery.

Mitch Fucking McConnell had polio in his youth and it frosts my lizard that he’s not currently in an iron lung (or six feet under).  He survived something horrific, and now he’s doing absolutely nothing in the face of today’s horror.

Currer, Acton and Ellis Bell do not disagree with you.

My ex mother-in-law (a notoriously terrible cook) could make damson jam that mould would not grow on. “Even mould won’t touch Mum’s jam”, my ex said. Never trust jam that mould stays the hell away from.

The Zilli Okuz bull looks far more like the Laughing Cow than a Red Bull. Why aren’t Red Bull suing the cheese peeps too? Is the problem the bovine image, or the testosterone-bull thing?

You’re a scorpio? Cool.  I’m an asparagus.  We’re compatible.

I found the rosé ice cream recently. It’s fine. But honestly, it’s indistinguishable from raspberry ripple. Some kind of fruity pink sauce drizzed throughout, and the rest is plain vanilla.  I’d buy it again, but it didn’t taste fancy.

That’s not (just) a tiara, it’s a parure.

I once worked with a guy (who was actually a nice guy ... but) who was the son of brother-sister parents. He looked exactly like that header photo.  Apparently it’s a lewk.

“Homemade tortillas must be cooked. Those flour tortillas bought at the grocery store only need be heated or even eaten cold as they have already been cooked” - Quora

UK: Mars bar  US: Milky Way

There is no such thing as good celery. When people talk about “the devil’s lettuce”, I always think they must mean celery. There’s a gene that makes some people think cilantro tastes like soap; I have the celery-tastes-like-shit gene.

The header photo says “summer crush”, but they’re all wearing sweaters and boots?  And whatever the hell that ski suit thing is.

We’re not a state with an R governor, but I’d really like Dianne Feinstein to be replaced.  She’s like 200 years old already.

I used to work at an animal shelter. The volunteers skewed cis-het, but the staff were overwhelmingly LGBTQ.  It wouldn’t surprise me if others were the same.  We weren’t a “gay animal shelter” as such, but we also kinda were, really.  Unless you meant gay animals?  In which case, penguins for the win.

My Dad always insisted on putting “schoolmaster” on forms, rather than “teacher”. So when I got married and had to name his job (he’d been deceased approx five years at that point, why one has to give details re dead people is beyond me) I went with “schoolmaster” in his memory. An outdated stupid question deserved an…