Hell naw you ain’t

Reduce, reuse, recycle

I’m just excited that the practice of land surveying exists post-apocalypse.

10>8. Suck on that, Pesci.

Everyone surviving is not going to help Celine Dion’s sagging career

Wow I guess Dumbledore really was the headmaster of Hogwarts

Comparing Trump to Voldemort is an insult to Voldemort.

The Watcher in the Woods: underrated

I’m fine if they want to tweet pictures of their bloodied faces and say a woman beat them up at the opening night show

I get the feeling the Church of Satan just may something closer to a zero-tolerance policy than any other religion

I’d like them to use some Richard Christy calls

I wonder what my grocery store will put in the Enquirer’s place after the Enquirer goes out of business.  Bring back the Weekly World News!

I’m assuming you can see his balls sticking out the bottom of the towel

“Executive Time” is my new euphemism for masturbation.

The R5-D4 action figure was cheaper than R2-D2 right?  I’ve always assumed that since I ended up with R5-D4 on Christmas morning

Steaming Hot Take: Sue Johansson>Dr. Ruth

Big dropoff after the first season but his Bobby Orr spiel will live forever

There is no god

At least the weekly standard went out of business so the saints will be spared the “had they simply rushed up the middle for no gain...” this Tuesday