You can stop bitching about Mount Denali now.

Death metal +1

In other news, Oceania has always been at war with Eastasia.

It's hypocritical to be that concerned over a dog when trillions of unborn baby fetuses are murdered by planned parenthood every week.

Not really; Josh Duggar’s probably getting laid way more than me.

This team is killing my father-in-law.

Boba Fett’s flight from Bespin to Tattoine was quiet and peaceful. Hint hint.

I dunno this guy comes close.

And why aren't we more outraged about abortion than Cecil the lion?

Small Town Saison FTW

It would finally give me an excuse to go on the Deep Internet, which sounds way cool

Congratulations to the happy couple.

Still not as bad as

Peter Gabriel’s “Passion” or GTFO

If that game was pre-emped by the Heidi movie, would anyone give a fiddlers fuck?

While it’s true a majority of sharks don’t eat people, it’s also true a majority of the animals in the ocean that eat people are sharks. When will the so-called “moderate” sharks step up and condemn this violence?

I recommend Dallas Cowboys fans not watch the replay.

His hands be like

My mom was a librarian at a public library so I could list all the Hardy Boys’ adventures the way modern adults can list the houses of Westeros. Whenever she went on break, I could check out the where-babies-come-from books. The only drawback was most of the patrons had B.O. that could asphyxiate a rhino.

You should have Madison Rising on repeat all day today. If not, you obviously aren’t a real American.