This post’s tag line is an insult to anal fissures everywhere.

Whether I had the Pulp or Shatner version in my head is something I’ll take to the grave.

I prefer Fruity Pebbles.

It references the song “Common People” by Pulp, later redone by William Shatner on his spoken word music album.

Also, I refuse to acknowledge Bill Kurtis as the permanent announcer on Wait, Wait. He’s just filling in for Carl Kassel long-term. He is, he is, he is.

It’s also no less crazy than posting a fucking burn severity index to try and win an Internet argument.

It’s fun for me. Especially when someone is so doggedly determined to be a jerk like you. It was a couple of minutes. Well worth the time.

Nah, I’m pretty much here all the time. Even looked back through your comment history for the past three months. Nothing.

Drinking well rye alone should have been grounds for arrest.

I have never, ever seen you comment on here before. So you’re both an idiot and a liar.

They came from an hour away with a thirst for loafage,

Curious how incidents in IndyCar and open-wheel racing correlate to safety in NASCAR.

FCS coaches don’t go straight to a Big Five school. Heck, North Dakota State’s coach won the title and could only get the job at Wyoming.

“I can’t top that.”

So long as you use my ripped-out heart to make a torta instead of a stupid-ass taco that can’t be eaten without having shit fall out and make a mess.

I didn’t even know you could get a tortilla on the side when you ordered the bowl.

Tacos are the most ineffective method of wrapping a bread-like material around other food stuff ever devised.

Tortas are better than everything.

I PUT WHATEVER I GODDAMNED WANT IN MY THERMOS.

+1

When more receipts pop up with “WTF” and “OMG” on the tip line, the true horror of Buzzfeed’s hazing of new staffers will be seen.