First of all, WHAT. NO.

Starring just for the Hasselhof comment. You’re a hero.

Favorite Jeff Koons story: He is actually from my folks’ hometown (Dover, PA) and there was quite the kerfuffle in a local paper when a piece of his was found to be modeled after a local man’s mailbox - which he had built from an engine block. The original mailbox design was an attempt to stop neighborhood kids from…