I think there’s a typo? I’m only counting 20 years between 1995 and now.

To be fair, it is surprisingly small.

I want to say, “Technically, if he never pays for anything, he’s not a customer,” but when I worked customer service at Nordstrom Rack the managers were such doormats that they’d literally hand cash to obvious and repeat scammers in the name of “good customer service.”

I just laughed out loud at the image of your mother (or a “mother” since I have no idea what you’s looks like), studying the Mona Lisa with a serious face, while farting loudly. Yessss.

Oh god, I might win. I was at a small-town grocery store with my mom and sister and we happened to have the only black employee I can see in the store bagging our groceries. You can see where this is going. So of course he offers to take our bags to the car and she pats my on the shoulder and says “That’s all right, I…

So this isn’t my parent, it’s my great grandmother and I wasn’t there, it was my aunt. But I still love this story. So my Nana (as I called her) died just last year at 96 and she was a very outspoken and firery woman. After her health started declining, my aunts and uncles and 2nd cousins all took turns driving her to…

If she did it to embarrass you I have to say, I'm sorry, but she's my kind of people. That's too funny.

I won’t post the more horrifying stories for examples of me cutting ties but something light instead. My mother is a hippy/new age type and will try anything. We were at my brother’s basketball game and she leaned over and asked if she smelled like pee (which she did). Apparently she thought it’d be a good idea to…

I was at a quiz bowl at a local high school (my team won!). My dad had taken me, and had a penchant for drawing these weird little farting guys on things. Naturally, this extended to the chalk boards of empty classrooms. I kept telling him not to do it, his response was to just make them bigger. For the most part, as…

Mine was thankfully only something I witnessed, but it was HORRIFYING. In middle school after leaving the dermatologist my Mom and I were at Walmart shopping for facewash. I was looking at the Neutrogena and Mom whispers in my ear “I never liked Neutrogena. It feels like cum on my face.”

Deadly lack of arch support on those things too.

It’s just because girls go to college to get more knowledge while boys go to Jupiter to get more stupider, NEXT

Clearly my utter lack of a dating life in high school is the reason I got high grades. :P

this is the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me Gella thank you come sit by me lovely mermaid unicorn of my dreams

She was so good in Rachel Getting Married. Everybody was so good in that movie.

I didn’t know Anne was uncircumcised!

Hate to disappoint you, but.... This may be shocking to you, there can be multiple people of terrible moral fiber that are famous and of one race at the same time. Like white people didn’t corner the market for being the worst. It just so happened that white people were exclusively famous because of privilege for…

So it really is as simple as that? Damn. Maybe it was overly optimistic of me to think that there was a chance she had actually done something wrong or truly shocking, to end up being disliked like that.

i kind of hope it just stays ridiculous and we have to watch someone make an INSPIRING STORY out of a middle class dude ~~~struggling to reach the glam life.

What is this “X” you speak of? Is that the thing the bouncer writes on your hand? The only pill we gulp nowadays is this totally different, unrelated and much cooler thing called molly.