What has five hands and is that conflicted?

Standard is, that you use the pronouns of the drag persons. If the persona is presented as a woman, then you use feminine pronouns. If the persona is presented as a man, use masculine. Conchita is a character created by Tom, she is not Tom.

On behalf of so many ladies, let me just be the one to say the obvious, “awww, damn it”

“Dollar General Mr. Clean” is an amazing burn.

Yeah, a “100% pro-life voting record” doesn’t mean shit when you don’t uphold the same standards you force others to. Fuck off, you Dollar General version of Mr. Clean.

I once made a joke about cousin love in front of my college boyfriend and his mom, and wondered why he elbowed me immediately. Turns out his mom had previously been married to her cousin. Whoops.

My friend Jay’s grandparents were first cousins (because that’s how they did things in the Old Country). Jay was born with one kidney.

Wait - so this one, albeit massive, douchewaffle behaves inappropriately with an intern and that’s it, no more internship program? What about other students who might be seeking legislative experience? This feels like a “our young people won’t be safe in the gubmt building” sort of response to me. Or even worse, “we…

I really enjoy yours

“So what’s the Diehl with sexting interns?”

I’ve been waiting for years for it to return in a different spot.

He learned a valuable lesson on communicating with women from his 11-year-old

Aw she can’t afford a babysitter either! Celebrities, they are just like us.

Shia LaBeouf is that friend who posts emo statuses on FB but when you ask whats wrong they say “I dont want to talk about it on Facebook”

THANKS, OBAMA!

Do u think the dude that shot him in the face recognized him and that’s why he shot him?

“you’ve never worked with the general public before.”

I’ve been working with General Public so long, he was just Lieutenant Public when I got started.

That still gives an inaccurate idea though, because only two babies have died and a dozen others have become sick. Saying “babies become sick, die” makes it sound like all the babies that got sick died, at least to me. I’m not sure how I would have written it differently, but it’s not like it’s THAT inaccurate or…

Oh man Deadpool is going to be so good!

No thanks, Ryan, my obgyn is already a jaw-dropper. Like, teenage me would be aghast that I will shamelessly drop trou and mount those stirrups for what appears to be a GQ model.