When I saw the headline I thought to myself “Is this going to be in some poverty stricken African country where Witchcraft is still practiced or Florida? Probably Florida.”

I am mad at the man who threw the sugar for making me feel bad for this individual.

A dishwasher is an absolute requirement in any place I live. There’s nothing I hate more than hand washing dishes.

OMG YAAAAS YASSSSSSS TO EVERY IDIOT COMMENTER WHO KEPT SAYING SHE WAS JUST OVERLINING HER LIPS I AM SINGING DASHBOARD’S VINDICATED AND DANCING AROUND THIS AIRPORT TERMINAL ALSO I AM PROBABLY VERY DRUNK

“One Direction is basically our generation’s Jonas Brothers.”

He would be lazy as shit. Look at all the songs he’s stolen. Dude doesn’t work for anything.

Couldn’t kill his wife himself, couldn’t write his wife’s eulogy himself.

...rory?

Cops HATE Her! Baltimore Prosecutor Holds People Responsible for Killing a Guy With This One Weird Trick.

What a pile of garbage. Also when people threaten suicide to manipulate I am a firm believer of calling 9-1-1 every time they try it. I find that to be such a disgusting way of trying to get your way. Fuck you dude.

I did not see how gay men act when straight people aren’t around. What I saw was swamp gas reflecting off a weather balloon er...something like that.

I can't decide if I want her to date the crutches guy or not.

Same. Also, they really better reveal who her husband was (assuming Agent Carter isn’t coming back, as the rumor mill has it), b/c I wanna know who had the balls to ask out Captain America’s girlfriend.

It kind of hurts my heart that Cap and Agent Carter never got to hook up.

Are you really telling gay folks what is and isn’t funny to us? What we’re allowed to make fun of about our own community? You don’t really get to do that...

I think that’s an idea we can ALL get behind. Even *gasp* libertarians.

Do you guys ever bump into another lady on the street and wonder to yourself if they’re a fellow Jezebel commenter because I do all the time. And then I think wouldn’t it be crazy if like adultsaur’s doctor IRL is yoga nerd md and neither of them knows it.