Why are we still talking about Johnny Depp and Amber Heard?

“You are all terribly bad people for reading what we wrote endlessly, so endlessly, about” is a hell of an editorial line to be taking

Ad revenue. You’re still talking about them because people click on the articles to read the instantaneous shitshow in the comments. You honestly couldn’t give a single fuck about domestic violence victims or how male and female celebrities are treated differently. The bosses upstairs demand a certain amount of…

He’s being talked into making it so only $8 checkmarks can vote in polls like this.

Who do I vote for? Kanye, Jared Kushner, or Stephen Miller? This certainly looks like the free and independent Will of the People...

A Hitler-shark hybrid?

“I will abide by the results of this poll.”

I wish it was a movie by Christopher Nolan where Cillian Murphy is playing a kangaroo.

He’s in the A.V. Club comments!?

But the 24/7 news will be so empty without broadcasting his posts on the worst forum on the internet!

Yes he will.

Yep.

Sorry could you speak up? I couldn’t hear you over the BWWWAAMMMMMMMP

I would like to see him stay until Twitter is finally nothing more than a smoldering crater. A new CEO might actually pull Twitter out of its nosedive.

Ah yes, a real business genius decides the fate of a corporation’s leadership via public informal poll. What a twat. 

If you mean “like a twerp,” yes.

Would it matter? Doesn’t he still own the fucking thing? I feel like Elon Musk starts hyperventilating if he doesn’t see himself in any given news cycle and this is just one way of scoring his media fentanyl.

Not to mention immortal, so she couldn’t die anyway.

She looks like she’s whipping dangerously close to a death ray. She better be careful.