Sorkin: If you write it, they will come!

Just wanted to emphasize again how much I get it. I lived in home that was once burglarized and I never felt the same there again, but I just now how invasive it can also feel to be frisked or patted down or have someone look through your personal things when you haven’t done anything. She should protect her family at…

I get that they are being extra cautious because of the robbery, but if I had to get frisked when I came over a friends house for brunch, I wouldn’t go over that friends house for brunch. Hopefully it’s just reserved for like delivery men and staff or something because checking Penelope for weapons is a bit much.…

I feel like I know a pretty basic amount of info about Scarlett Johansson, but I literally had no recollection of her ever having a child. Like I don’t remember her ever being pregnant.

Marrying Nick Cannon was the worst thing Mariah has ever did to us and that is saying a lot because Glitter did happen. Like we seriously don’t deserve this. What is even happening in that video? Is he okay? He makes Mariah look like the sane parent.

Barely even noticed the cunt because I was too busy fawning over the Judy Davis as nosy ass Hedda Hopper. I lived, then died, and then lived again.

It is wrong and you sound like an asshole. Hopefully you won’t ever have to know how it feels to be stalked and harassed by someone you once loved, whether you knew they abused before or not. This girl is probably scared for her life and you can’t have even a tiny bit of sympathy. That’s pretty gross.

These clothes are somehow better than all his previous collections, but also still the worst thing I’ve ever seen. I almost want to say that they’re pretty for ugly clothes.

Current level of excitement...

I found it hard to pay attention after that whole, “let’s have a super fun date at a fucking plantation” thing. That really disturbed me. Respect my ancestors and don’t make out on piece of land where people were literally treated like animals.

Like that’s a seriously fucked up thing for him and his family to do. My brother-in-law passed away recently and we didn’t always have a positive relationship, but after having him in my life for twelve years and as the father of my nephew, I would have been devastated if I could not attend his funeral.

I totally forgot about that movie. Thanks for reminding me. Now my day has somehow gotten worse.

When they first announced this film, they revealed who would be playing Michael and people were legit upset. Why didn’t they just recast then? Now I’ll never get to see Stockard Channing as Elizabeth Taylor. I don’t deserve this.

Completely respect Paris’ feelings and as a child, I totally get it. But I would literally watch Stockard Channing read the back of shampoo bottle, so I’m definitely not missing her as Elizabeth Taylor.

How I feel about this year...

I’m not a big fan Chyna, but fuck those Kardashians. They’ve made their career profiting off the culture of black people and imitating women like Blac Chyna and now that a black person has chance to profit off of them, they’re all like, “But what about our goodwill!” Fuck them and their goodwill.

She’s an asshole and I hate her. That’s really the nicest way I can say it.

It seems like the one that you shouldn’t care for is Jay. Everything concerning Kim and Bey is just speculation, but if Jay and Kanye were actual friends and Jay decided to abandon that for whatever reason, that’s on him and shouldn’t be blamed on his wife.

Billy Bush. Ryan Seacrest. Carson Daly. The holy trinity of mediocre semi-famous white men. How have they all stayed employed for so long? None of them are particularly interesting or good looking or talented. They’re the lightly salted rice cakes of tv hosting.

He’s like the real life version of Val.