Just the words ‘monkey fight’ make me laugh.

FIFY: Crime fighting in the NFL - show me tape or it didn’t happen. And if you show me the tape, I’m gonna get really, really mad at you.

Dude, that song rocks. How could they not be awestruck?

Not sure that nuking is the answer, but the Foreign Legion is awful good at taking care of things where others don’t want to get their hands dirty.

I would term it a ‘rant’ and think that it was absolutely beautiful.

She is saying penis. It’s ok, my mom does it too.

Wait. Your prom was at a hotel?!?

That damn Dirty South!

Must be a Sackville Baggins.

You had a valet at your prom?

I’ll give it an enthusiatic “Meh.”

I don’t know. She’s not any less sympathetic than any of the parents in this story.

“bitched out” haha. That’s pretty much the size of it. I’m going to use that later, if you don’t mind.

88 camry. Don’t need to find an example, they’re all less than 10k.

It sounds more like they taunted him and a “scuffle” broke out, and he was the first one to call the cops.

Seabiscuit II, then? I’ll do it! Pick me!

Jalopnik rule 1...never miss a chance to take a cheap shot at flying cars (preferrably while beating off to pictures of Elon Musk and breathlessly reading the latest dribble of speculation about self driving cars).

Does it give you the option to skim confiscated drugs? Or lobsters? Or make BUI’s during spring break at Havasu?

Wow, what a bunch of shitstains. Who are you people? If the great sin is crossing the double-y, then I would remind you that the car did exactly that with reckless abandon that caused intense pain to two people, grievous injury to one, and could have easily killed them both.

Looks like a whored-up viper to me. You’re right, they’re all starting to look the same.