Oh, fuck off.

Not seeing any death threats here. Obnoxious silliness, yes. But no death threats. You could be better at this.

Diana did have great style, but you'd never know it from those hideous outfits. Especially that bandaid-pink encrusted thing.

Any Bette Davis movie is like a master class of shade.

After a hard day's work, I know I prefer to sit back and relax with a refreshing diarrhea cocktail garnished with last night's cream corn casserole.

Well yes but Jesus Christ how big is this train?!??

I'm on board! Where's the drinks trolley?

Oh dear god. That just can't be pleasant. But then, how would they know?

I thought the whole idea behind suicide being a mortal sin was that since the Church talked up heaven as being such a fabulous place and so much better than this shitty life on earth, they needed some way to discourage people from offing themselves to get there sooner. Hard to collect those weekly tithes when most of…

"In respect of the person who currently owns you, I will stop imagining that I own you."

"You're not making my penis hard anymore when I look at you and also I assume your husband no longer finds you attractive since we are basically the same person. You need to fix that right away, also publish a bunch of columns about it so I can tell you if you're doing it correctly."

I LOOOVE that picture of Sophia and Jayne, Sophia's totally giving the original side-eye.

Mine too! Yay!

I will never understand this "so it's one extreme or the other, nothing in between?" mentality. No dumbass, it doesn't mean don't ever talk to any woman ever again for the rest of your life. Jesus, are people really this stupid?

I've always thought "bad boy" was a euphemism for "raging asshole".

This, this, a million times this. These assholes never blame the original maker, do they?

She believed it until it was her turn for palliative care. Then it was nothing but the best hospitals and medical care, you betcha. Fucking hypocrite.

I live in a smallish townhouse where the dining room is directly off of the living room. There are blinds on the dining room windows which are too short and leave an open gap of about a foot. For some reason whenever I look over there from the couch at night I halfway expect to see someone hunched over and peering in…

Well she's done her duty re: the heir and the spare (assuming all goes well). I'd bet good money this is her last pregnancy. I seriously doubt she wants to go through that nightmare a third time.

Yep, Pond's is great. I particularly love picking up a couple of jars on sale for five bucks each.