“I don’t play golf and I don’t have a mistress.”

Them: low

She knew exactly what she was doing and what the potential outcomes were from flying commercial. Part of me thinks Bannon set this up so this exact incident would occur and everyone would feel sorry for lil Vanky.

I know i’m supposed to feel bad for Ivanka, but I can’t. Fuck her. Fuck her husband. They are going to make billions off the american taxpayer and have no shame or remorse or anything resembling human emotions. I might feel the slightest bit of pity for the kids, except then I remember they’re all fucking rich and…

.... haven’t pulled this one out in a while, but; Dear Mr. Lasner and Dear Husband of Mr. Lasner,

Si.

+1 to myself for spelling “pirouette” correctly without looking it up or using autocorrect

He’s just a (*checks player’s race*) thuggish scrappy player

Roy Hudson: “OH, HO, HO! I DON’T BELIEVE MY EYES! ALCÁNTARA BOOTS A LUMP O’ COAL OVER TO SANTA FLYING UP THE WING, BUT THE NORTH POLE MAN’S ALL PIXELS AND NO PRESENTS...”

Can you guys do something about that fucking fish-man from Hellraiser that pops up on every fucking page???

meanwhhile in Hamburg, Bobby Wood sure looks like the real deal (at least as defined relative us USMNT standards)

Since this is an article about Soccer/Bayern, the top two teams in the Bundesliga kick off at 2:00 eastern today on FS1.

It’s almost like Arsenal have created their own personal Europa League where all they gotta do is finish ahead of one other team for fans to be happy with how things are going.

In related news, Alabama and Ohio State football players intend to play in their Playoff Games in anticipation of their coming NFL pay cut.

Nick Saban has responded by spending 20 minutes silently assembling a rifle in front of his players while wearing a T-Shirt that reads “FUCKING TRY IT.”

I would argue that Liverpool has multiple engines that are somewhat interchangeable and can come to the forefront to meet the need. No knock against Lallana, he has had an excellent week.

The exuberance of youth is a motherfucking killer.

Far as I’m concerned, I think it has to do with how his approach was unique, and in a distinctly throwback way, because he started in a different time. They just don’t make TV people like him anymore. The style, the genuineness, the non-fawning ease around important people: his position will be filled, but he’ll never…

Not even a cold take, just an understood fact

Is it even a hot take anymore to say that Gregg Popovich would make an infinitely better president than Donald Trump? Shit’s insane. I love this man. I say this as someone who rooted against the Spurs and their boring cold grip on championships for many years. The man just always Gets It.