A.) Walking, talking bowl of buttered noodles = perfection

This is why you should always cheat first. I make sure to cheat at least five times during the first three months of a new relationship just so everyone knows my partner’s the one who’s a loser if things go to shit.

Well now we at least know where Trump was getting his cocaine from.

Someone who hangs out with Trump and Bush would know all about too stupid to be President....

See what happened there?

Where in the world is James Cameron when you need him?

Here’s the thing; expectations have been set so low for Trump, that if he makes it through the entire 90 minutes without shitting in his hand and flinging it or calling Hillary a c***, much of the coverage will read along the lines of: “In a surprising display of statesmanship and deportment, Donald trump delivered…

I think it’s totally unfair and mean that people are just making up baseless rumors about her based on nothing. People who spread unfair theories based on nothing but wild assumptions are the worst.

Oh DAMN.

So he wasn’t “cooperating” (*cough*bullshit*cough*) and that means it is okay to gun him down? And let him bleed out without even trying to help him despite being trained to do so? I really feel like throwing up right now, I am so disgusted.

Fuck integrity lets get that money!

Are you my spite sister from another mother? I would totally do the same exact thing...don’t even care how petty it is.

Take the money, split it with the Good Sister and figure out how much you can get for your firstborn. Or at least how much you can get to name Bad Sister the godmother. Buy a spinning wheel.

Dude, if I were the poor sister I would tell bride sister to absolutely take rich sister’s money. Then we could split the cash to go do something awesome just the two of us. And if we’re feeling bitchy we could plaster pics all over Facebook of our great time together. We could even tag mean sister like, “Without Mary…

Then he’ll allow Trump to interrupt with, “I can do it in 4 words. NO GIRLS IN SCHOOL.” receiving tearful applause from Lauer and a standing ovation from his roving entourage of neckbearded babymen.

“Abolish the NRA.”

he spent a third of his time with Clinton on questions about her private email server

I want to take a moment for those who live outside of Minnesota to try and express How Very Seriously And Deeply the people here take the Wetterling case. I moved here in 2000, and it was mere weeks before it was explained to me that one left one’s porch light on for Jacob, and how his disappearance was a loss of…

Ladies thinking about getting breast implants can do it however they and their doctors see fit. If someone wants giant balls on their chest, that is entirely their choice.

Hey! If you don’t have any training in mental health issues, let’s not pretend to be an expert on mental health issues, mmkay, Judge?