I’m just gonna leave this little bit of accidental honesty right here.

They are the most precious of snowflakes; mourning the fact that the whole entire society is no longer their safe space. Somebody call up the astral plane, because these punks have been projecting at full power for over forty years and it’s starting to look hazardous to their health.

Yuuuuup. If a vaccine gets released by known liars through a corner-cutting process, I am definitely not lining up to get it on day one. We’ll see how the early adopters are doing after two weeks of supposed immunity.

Republicans present an entire Grand-Guignol of atrocious things to say about Chelsea Clinton and Sasha and Malia Obama.

Yeah, I was aware that that was the term, but apparently that’s a bit outdated? I guess oedipal complexes are no longer gender-segregated, which would seem to make sense.  I don’t think there was any material difference in behavior.

I profoundly accept this honor.

Kind of makes you wonder why he hasn’t sidelined Jared out of pure jealousy, the way he did with Hope Hicks’ boyfriends.

Hi, I’m Scarlet O’Reichwinger, and you may know me as a bible-banger, a mother of exactly 2.5 children, and a proud Q-Anon conservative, but I’m here to talk to you tonight as President Trump’s acting literal carpet, what people walk on. When I was old enough to know better years old, I was abducted by space aliens.…

I wonder if Don Jr. dating an older version of his stepmom and Ivanka constantly trying to position herself as equal to the first lady (see her “first daughter” tantrum for another striking example) might suggest some unresolved oedipal issues in this family? Nah, probably just my imagination.

Truly, the first woman president this country deserves.

This is all true. Though the “South’s Defender” up there crumpling like a loose dollar bill in a tumble dryer is probably more a testament to the fact that, in addition to these Jim Crow-era monuments being racist participation trophies designed to intimidate Black people, they were also very cheaply and shoddily…

Cocaine’s a hell of an algorithm.

I suspect it has less to do with people forgetting and forgiving than it has to do with the corporate press’s quota of false equivalencies they need to peddle. Gotta pretend the Republican Party isn’t a fascist movement that thwarts democracy in favor of permanent minority rule. The boss really wants those tax cuts. 

Seriously? I like a lot of the work the Intercept does, but Greenwald seems like such a liability for them any time he opens his mouth to comment on anything other than Brazilian politics.

Unfortunately, the election day asteroid ain’t shit. But cheer up! Our universe could always get Thanos-snapped by a more stable vacuum without warning.

Nah, Pam Bondi (bribe recipient) had quite a bit to say about how nepotism is bad.  Also at the RNC, all five Trump children give speeches to say, “Thanks daddy!”

Nah. In my fantasy Trump arrest, all four years of KFC emerge in a cataclysmic eruption, like Godzilla from the the Pacific. It can be heard from two towns over. No dignity is left intact.

They built an entire media empire for explicitly that purpose! Yay! *starts vomiting blood... from my eyes*

You said it. I guess one could argue it’s been one big slow-rolling failure of checks and balances going back to sometime around Iran-Contra and we’re just now approaching the end of the line, where it may no longer be possible to fix or even pretend this system works.  I guess we’ll soon find out.

What do I have to talk about today? The post office? Who could have foreseen such a shocking turn of events?!