Defensive Holding!

“We reached out to Curt’s friends, MAGAgirl07898714 and PepeNotRazist8761412, and they told us via DM...”

Tough to be an MLB pitching coach when you refuse to work with lefties.

Yup. I mean the kid made Deadspin, for crying out loud. That autograph will be gone when he forgets to take it out of his pocket and his mom throws his pants in the washer.

or 3) your parents parlay it into your 15 minutes (or more) of fame. The kid gets a DeMarcus Lawrence jersey for Christmas, parents contact the Cowboys public relations people and arrange a whole thing where he meets DeMarcus again after a game, gets his new jersey signed in front of media people, goes on the Today…

Sign for a kid, he sells it on ebay once.  Dunk on a kid, he has a bar story for life.

Which would you really rather have when you grow up?

I mean that kid CAN NOT be more than 10. So, as a Giants fan, this isn't even in the top 20 most embarrassing things he's experienced. 

“Turkey” seems appropriate here too.

I’ve always thought “peckerwood” packed a nice punch.

I have been addressing several white friends with “Howdy, Honky,” for at least five years now. It’s such an underrated and underused word, man.

UnBelievably, you had to correct this from “100% TRUMP supporter” to “110% TRUMP supporter.” 

Unbelievably, I had to correct this from “100% TRUMP supporter” to “110% TRUMP supporter.” 

I hope you receive 1M stars.

Roxanne! You don’t have to put on that red hat.

“Sir, this is an empty room”

This is like the time me and some buddies were driving down to Buffalo to see a Sabres game. We all met up at my buddy Aidan’s house and we were about to get in the car and, with it clearly in sight, I called Shotgun. Clear rules, right?

Awesome...now I’m allowed to talk about how his pull up 3 with the game tied and about a minute left broke my heart. And it's been 18 years.

It’s no Fab Five scandal? Jesus dude. He raped someone. It’s far worse than a bunch of recruits getting paid and partying with boosters.

Nice! So this means Princeton gets to advance to the Sweet Sixteen of the ‘98 tournament... right?