Oh I'm being eaten by a boa constrictor.. Oh gee it's up to my knee. Oh heck it's up to my neck...

Fuck all. I just took a shower for the first time in eight days because I was too drunk to do anything else and I feel like a new person. At least until I have my birthday celebration this weekend. Then I'll get to be reminded that i'm still alone. And still drunk.

Yeah, Im not a lawyer, but if my friend has drugs on them(theoretically speaking) and they are in my house(theoretically speaking) then wouldnt it be my problem(theoretically speaking)? I remember a story that happened to a friend of mine at the canadian border, where there was weed in the trunk of (ahem) their car.…

While I do see your point here is my counter to get to the "Why" part... Hes just got this odd condition that makes him a decent person. Its pretty rare nowadays and scientists have theorized that it came from getting a ass whipping occasionally as a child to help develop respect for your fellow people on this earth.

Clicksturbator.

Eh, Im over it. He moved to california 13 years ago and now my brother has 3 beautiful(if spoiled) kids, an amazing wife and My mom is happy and healthy and my brother and I wound up being successful. He got to see none of that, nor will he. His memories will be of me when i was a teenage asshole and my brother…

Or you could be a cheap dick like my father was and wait till all the kids (2 of us) were 18 to divorce my mom so he wouldnt have to pay child support.

Yeah, the sweater sucks in the summer.

I had an s2000.

Be out on the road when the freaking government says to stay at home.

Imma buy a subaru.

Yeah. Totally on point. I must have missed the war that President Kenyan mcblackenstein started by lying to America. But hey no biggie. It happens.

Ohhhhhhhhhh now I get it. George Bush has a spider man costume. #modernwarcrimes.

Spiderman is a villain? Don't get your point.

Looks like he's furiously masturbating to Netflix.

My takeaway from this article.... WHAT THE HELL CAN SOMEONE MASTURBATE TO ON NETFLIX?

As a card carrying member of the member carrying clan.... ITS NOT MY BODY! ITS NOT MY CHOICE!!! What is so freaking difficult to understand... And lastly...

I wish they were only going 88 miles per hour. Cuz then they only would have seen some serious shit.

Call me confused. What was the last relevant show she was on since I was a teenager?

I can't say I am broke. I live a comfortable life but am basically net zero. But holy crap if i don't get a feels boner from donating when I can.