One day a blonde comes up to a man’s door and asks him if he has any odd jobs. The man says “I’ll give you $50 to paint the porch out back.” The blonde goes to work and after 30 minutes, she comes back, and tells the man she is done. “Wow, that was fast,” the man says. The blonde replies, “yes, I know, but that …

A penguin’s driving down the highway when his engine starts sputtering and smoking. He gets off at the next exit and finds the nearest garage. The penguin proceeds to tell the mechanic what happened and the mechanic says “Give me 10 minutes to look at it to see if I can find the problem.”

How do you know if a car buyer is lost?

Those were forever the best VW commercials ever made, no contest.

• Comes with only white or silver

Well, the V6 Camry is pretty quick in a straight line for a midsize sedan.

She still hasn’t worked out what a rim job is!

$kay, I’ve been on jalopnik for a long time, and this is the first time where you’ve left me speechless. Bravo.

Bedauernswert!

Fuck this, I’m not dying in Florida

it was already ruined

I swapped the seats from my wife’s 09 Jetta TDI into my 04 Golf TDI. I’m taking the steering wheel, the wheels (we’ll send it back with some clapped out steelies), the rear wiper arm, and virtually anything else I can use in my 04. Here’s a picture of my Golf with the rear seats and 1 of the front seats in:

The Quattro Concept. Oof.

Well clearly that Mustang hasn’t left yet. Coming into the event isn’t the problem. Mustangs can only leave car events with the engine at 9,000 rpm or above. It’s in the owner’s manual. Otherwise Ford comes and takes the car back.

Wait a minute... so there’s a Mustang in the video and it’s NOT the wrecked car? Howindahelldidthathappen?

*Edit: Ladies, never forget. Curves are a good thing.

I’m a Colts season ticket holder and this year there’s a couple who sits behind me at every game, and they obsess over which players aren’t standing for the anthem. Usually during the anthem. Yes, they talk during the whole anthem about how disrespectful it is to sit during the anthem.

I’d love to railroad her!

I can’t star those doors on a truck. :(

I wouldn’t excuse the driver, either. He’s a dick. They’re both dicks. Everyone’s a dick.