A great slogan to remember when looking for love from people who are unable to give it.

The day my Gran died my Mom who was a chronic alcoholic and who did get along with her got drunk and slammed a whole bottle of my Dad’s pills in front of me and told me “If I missed her so much that I felt the need to cry for her I should just join her.” I called her a bad word. She slugged me, and for the first time…

I took my husband to a modern dance production once. For months afterward, he would make artsy arm motions and then fall on the ground dramatically whenever the word “modern” came up. It was actually quite accurate.

Now I, on the other hand, can find a story in just about anything. I once went to see a ballet production of Anne of Green Gables. The dancers were all in basic nude-ish looking leotard things, and it was all very modern dance-ish. But I gamely tried to follow the story and sort out which characters the dancers…

I know exactly what she’s going through, and anyone who’s ever been involved with an active alcoholic/addict knows, too. It’s like being in a carnival funhouse where everything is distorted, unstable, unpredictable– and dangerous. Yet when you try to explain what’s going on to people outside the relationship, you…

I was just reading some comments about the Depp/Heard story on other sites and I’ve concluded that a video could emerge of Johnny Depp repeatedly punching Amber Heard in the face, and the internet would still declare her to be a gold digger who deserved it.

So fucking depressing.

As you can see, they have stage 4 affluenza. Their chances of recovery are basically zero.

It can be tough if you have overly perfect teeth too. My sister looked like a Mexican Osmond until, I shit you not, she grew into her teeth. Her elementary nick name was Chompers.

I would’ve been hilaaaaaarious in a child beauty pageant. Crooked-ass buck teeth, super short bob, chubby cheeks.... Life was rough for Little Raptor.

I think in the very beginning they were cheap. Here is a picture of the very first Miss America.

It does look like what Derrick Barry wore on most challenges during Rupaul’s drag race.

Probably the same way I’ve had my phone for four years and didn’t know how to put the flashlight thingy on until a friend showed me at the Adele concert last week.

If Sylvia Plath hadn’t stuck her head in an oven, this news would drive her to it.

I think the Bell Jar should be less dreamy and more along the lines of Betty Draper’s episode where she shoots those birds.

“at a Pepsi event celebrating World Emoji Day.”

This sentence makes my orifices bleed.

There are two things that one does not simply do:

I’m not surprised the gator was able to climb the fence so easily, but more that he was able to just walk past those delicious peacocks.

In fairness, I would climb over a skyscraper to get away from Florida Man.

Oh c’mon. Tintin in the Congo was written in 1930, with a specific aim to make colonisation seem all fine and dandy. Enjoying Tintin media made now is hardly supporting a comic that is eighty six years old (it’s not like they’re using the funds to make new versions), and was made for a specific time with a specific…