I was like 12

Is Louise Swahili for "Becky?

I too, wrote a memoir about my time in Africa. You see, as an impressionable pale cherub of the ripe age of 8, I ventured into the deep, dark heart of the jungle of the Congo with my best friend, an orphaned soda-addicted gorilla who could talk with the help of a backpack that she wore around. After running into Black…

You forgot the part about how you are so beautiful that the local children called you Fromage Face.

Patronizing? Offensive? You must not have read the part about how every time she feels out of place at a Hollywood party, she “tr[ies] to remember a smiling gap-toothed child with HIV whose greatest joy was to sit on [her] lap and drink from a bottle of Coca-Cola.” I think you owe someone an apology.

I traveled to Europe in 1993 — at the very same time as the Balkan Wars! I was in the middle of it, in France, Germany and the Netherlands, a major player in that epic struggle for freedom. If the Serbs had found me, in Paris, they would have surely paraded my head on a spike down the streets of, I dunno, Lyon? The…

Spoiler: he dead.

Commence with the Who?s

The personage referred to in this post — I must say that I am not acquainted with them on a recognition level. Is this individual a known quantity with whom I should be familiar?

Every picture I've seen of the two of them, he looks like a deer caught in the headlights of an on-coming semi. I'm pretty sure he got blackmailed into this relationship. Like, dead hooker in the trunk of his car level blackmail.

Hahaha as a mediocre white lady who was mediocre white ladying before any of these ladies were even ladies, I can tell you that the vast majority of just just don’t give even the tiniest most microscopic shit about Taylor. She is just so aggressively bland that I can’t begin to understand why anyone gives a fuck about…

I have really fond childhood memories of Ghostbusters, but I honestly think it has more to do with that gawdawful cartoon and Ecto-coolers.

This photo is creeping me out. She looks so much like a teen mom standing next to him.

The Windsors should forever be grateful for her genes in their gene pool. Charles was an extremely odd looking man (only 33 years old here I think).

I was thinking about if they did a reboot/remake with men and each possibility was more depressing than the last:

I liked the original Ghostbusters! This one looks terrible. Look, they can try to copy it but there are just some fundamental differences between male and female actors. Like in the original, the men fought ghosts. Cool, right? Well in this one, the women are just fighting their urge for chocolate. ACK! Boring. Every…

While walking through a darkened woodland setting and speaking in his signature County Fair Haunted House Voice™.

How dare you confuse Keith Morrison with that hack Peter Van Sant!!!1!

If it’s not dangerous to remove the plug then why does that hole look so shocked?

I am personally a huge fan of “It’s All Coming Back to Me Now,” aka Celine’s Meatloaf moment.