Who are these people who lose weight when they're stressed? Have they just never heard of ice cream? Or cheese snacks? Or alcohol? I don't know if I want to be like them or if that would mean I was now a pod person too.

he was spending $2,700 annually on ice cream.

No. I will die creating a crossfire that increases the chances of collateral damage and causes first respondents to have more difficulty sorting out who was the original killer and who just believe themselves to be Rambo.

David Suchet or bust.

He was older, hairier, and his shirts weren’t sheer but not too far off. And he did wear shoes unlike Agador (am I remembering that right?)

Yes, but if he did abuse her when his mother died, why were they eating dinner months earlier in a restaurant?

What he should have said:

Mazel tov! Yeah, I never got to push, but I’d been in labor for 18 hours and had been contracting every minute for about 7. I was fine when she suggested the c-section. I also felt justified because she’s like “Yeah, he’s sunny-side up, sort of diagonal, and about as far up as he can possibly get. This would have…

My scar has some lingering numbness, so I'm considering covering it up with a tattoo!

I was a skinny baby, next to my cute chubby-baby twin sister I looked like an alien, I was just eyes and hair.

Like Britney Spears or whoever that is with that meaty bear up there, with some Lorem Ispum about three inches from his juggular. Unmarriable in my opinion.

Ex-gay therapy totally works. Look at this dude who went from a screaming queen to a totally hetero, married (to a woman, who’s totally not a lesbian) God warrior.

You win today.

The woman rumored to have inspired “Becky With the Good Hair” fromLemonade, Rachel Roy, reportedly “grabbed her place card” and ran the hell out of the CFDA Awards earlier this week after discovering Beyoncé Knowles was on her way in.

But if you’d like to know how it fits into the show allow be to oblige. Angel got his soul taken away after he and Buffy do the nasty (I hate when that happens). Spike is determined to bring about the end of the world via some apocalyptic frankenmonster called The Judge. Angel - or, now, Angelus - shows up at Spike’s…

There’s a difference between being on his son’s side and being a tone-deaf rape apologist.

Come on, be reasonable. Just put him in a fire for 20 minutes.

Snake oil doesn’t actually do anything for you. Now what you really want are these narwhal tears I just happen to have.