... is it insensitive to go as a dead lion? Like. I’m genuinely asking this because I really don’t know where the line is anymore.

I am laughing my ass off, because I have done some stupid shit, but I’ve never been responsible for a $6B market loss. At least, not yet.

I’d hate pregnancy too if someone (I’m looking at you, Kanye) kept me dressed in skin tight beige tubes the entire time. Girl needs a nice flowy dress.

Man, preach Kim K! I’m only 8 weeks pregnant and this shit sucks. I feel hungry, I eat, then I feel like shit. I think maybe it’s better to just be hungry, then I feel like shit. I am in a perpetual state of feeling like shit. I also can’t poop. Which means not only do I feel like shit, but I’m full of shit. And when…

Long-time reader, first-time commenter. I can’t resist — they filmed this show at my high school, Torrance High, often while classes were in session. They’d just rope off certain sections of the school and have at it. One of my friends briefly dated BAG. He was the most down-to-earth cast member, and would often play…

I believe this gesture to describe fish that walk around on the ocean bottom should pretty much cover it.

So, since there’s a predominance of stories where customers keep breaking the Inigo Montoya rule (words that do not mean what they think they mean), I’ve been reminded of this one story from my own history:

Maybe it harkens back to some subconscious safety mechanism in their reptilian brain that spies a hot mess and says “other people have been here. Here is safe. Go here for eats.”

But have you seen the ecstasy pills made in fun candy shapes that people are apparently handing out to unsuspecting kids for Ridiculously Nefarious Purposes®?

Even as a seven-year-old, I was so baffled at the drug lyceums my school would have where they claimed that drug dealers hang around the playground, give kids stickers with acid or LSD on them, and then the kids are hooked on drugs FOREVER! My allowance was $1 a week, I could not afford drugs. That’s just a horrible…

What in the shit of fuck

Ran across this fucking thing at a gas station down the street. Huge. STUPID huge. In Iowa, not South goddamn America...IOWA. Turns out it’s a Dobson Fly, not dangerous, but seriously WHY ARE THEY.

“Michelle and Ryan’s nups, which took place on a remote island in Thailand that could only be accessed by “traditional wooden long-tail boats,” had everything: escort cards calligraphed atop “foraged river rocks,” hand-dyed silk flags for no reason, food poisoning, bridesmaids that knew how to sing, and macaque…

I want to shit on everything they love, just for you.

Werd....you do NOT want to get on the wrong side of an Irish setter!

So how many “Bulls” are there? Sammy...now Carmine! Who’s the OG Bull? Is there a person in charge of nicknames and did they drop the ball? I have so many questions (Howard Dean yell)!!!

What's up with nouveau rich people thinking that brown eyes are gauche? Paris Hilton still does the blue contacts and Kylie Jenner too, when she isn't looking old and synthetic enough for her own taste.

genius. i’m sorry - it’s not even close to being hyperbole - he’s just magic. mad, mad, perfect genius. when i saw the photos my stomach did a flip.

Sandra’s dress will be made of a “lightweight fabric” that will “allow her to dance the night away!”