The reason this doesn’t make any sense is that my anxiety will have gotten the best of me half an hour before I leave the house.

well, 2 anyway...one is just a bike.

The trade-off, though, is that your daily driver dependably delivers you to your soul-crushing job each and every day.

Hey Bill! Thanks for stopping by.

Nice rip-off Louis CK. What is wrong is being held captive on a tarmac for 6hrs. They weren’t flying at all.

Jesus.Fucking.Christ.

Different kinda hoot. It’s a “shrooms or meth” kinda thing.

I enjoy reclining my seat because it pisses off Hamilton Nolan.

Thanks dude!

Stanced Toyota RAV3

I used to go to these Bible retreats and camps all the time and this sounds about right. I will say that summer Bible camps for teenagers are the most sexual places on the face of the Earth.

In NYC you could push a shopping cart full of bloody dismembered body parts down the sidewalk and everyone would just mind their own f-ing business.

I guess it’s good to eventually figure out that ghosting is shitty, but I can’t understand how anyone could possibly not realize that from the start. Studies and experts probably shouldn’t be necessary.

Well, they definitely aren’t using it to get pussy.

I feel like my childhood is empty and sad, for I had no handbrake.

Why are you here?

Hey, it’s me, your dog.

If it was that simple, more people would do it. There are reasons people make the choices they make and most people try to do the best they can with what they have.

The 52% of white women who voted for Trump are the ones that really boggle my mind. I just don’t get it. I should start telling them to shut their mouths and assign them ratings based on looks. Then I can just grab their pussies to shut them up.

Listen if I want to eat ice cream on a tricycle on a Sunday fuck your laws I’m doing it