you’re my son & i love yuo

I love this blog, mom!

Wouldn’t it be nice if all of the Kinja blogs *except* Gawker could secede and continue as a Gawkerless single entity?

Dude, Bristol gripping that guy’s arm like she’s holding him hostage in that photo is probably a perfect analogy for their “marriage.”

She rammed poor innocent Johnny’s feet and fists into her body? That witch!

Nobody should be grabbing anyone, but even those who transgress are capable of being transgressed upon. This isn’t, or shouldn’t be, shocking that in the course of your life you might have done some wrong in your life and still become a victim.

Are you claiming she was beating him? You know she was the one with the bruises, right? And the text messages about him kicking her?

There’s no perfect victim, especially when apologists will only keep moving the goalposts.

[I’m] a dirty fighter. Oh, yeah, The dirtiest there ever was. Stop at nothing. It doesn’t matter. Balls, sucker punch, bite the ear, pull the ear, gouge an eye out. I have done damage, and damage has been done to me. I’ve been hit with everything in the world: ashtrays, bottles, the worst being a pointy-toed Tony Lama…

Amber Heard’s ex-girlfriend Tasya van Ree has clarified the events surrounding Heard’s 2009 domestic violence arrest, apparently saying the whole thing was overblown.

Because she’s the one covered in bruises?

I don’t know latin so I’m just going to assume that chest tattoo translates into “No Ragrets.”

Well, this Dirt Bag is full of not-very-fun stuff, so how about we discuss how Woke Bae John Boyega is going to play everyone’s favorite hot Bond fan-cast Idris Elba’s son in an upcoming film?

He wasn’t always a hot piece of ass.

To be fair, he wasn’t exactly as pretty at 17 as he is now.

Did English teachers used to teach how to properly write a business letter? Because I know that wasn’t covered once in my English classes. We did read a shit ton of Shakespeare though.

Perfectly formatting your signature to fit your personality is hands down the best way to waste time while taking notes in high school.

Oh you know he practiced that shit so it would look professional af.

Chris Evan’s 17 year old signature is better looking than anything i will ever create with pen and paper

@Chris: How DARE you not include the headshot? Or did Mystery Date get exclusive rights to it?