It's Indiana, not Insteve.

I don't know from the horrors of space oil, but I do know there's no reason to waste a single drop of the precious contents of your honey bear, which can be extracted merely by immersing the bear in some scalding hot water, or, if you like, popping it into the microwave for 20 seconds or so, which heat greatly reduces…

When I worked electronics at Walmart in rural Wisconsin (as if that doesn't set up my story beautifully enough...seriously, if you want, just use your imagination to finish the rest), I would deal with a lot of older folks who not only had no idea how to technology but were often PROUD that they had no idea how to…

He hasn't aged in 30 years. Which is to say, he's looked 80 since his 50's.

Don't get me started on Leo "If He a Didn't Hit It, It Must Not Be A Catch" DeCaprio.

This is a story of how one of the worst days of my life ended up reaffirming my faith in strangers and in the human race in general.

Drew Magary: [walks the fuck right into the side of that car because some asshole won't get out of his way]

Yes, that was the narrative of the article. Thank you for your contribution.

It's a smart move, I mean, Pablo Sandoval is in town now and will be available by October at the latest.

"Rae Sremmurd" was also the verdict reached by the dyslexic juror in the Carruth trial.

LIES. MAYO IS PROOF GOD LOVES US.

That quote is interesting, because George Washington said it exactly as many times as Obama has taken someone's guns away.

Who's that 13 year old with progeria who's coming out of Hot Topic?

We don't teach history to help you get a job, we teach history because without it people grow up to be ignorant jerks who deny that things like slavery and the Holocaust ever happened.

It would be a hell of a catch if you guys can secure it.

9/11 Truthers Love Pete Carroll

Jets fan here, can we talk about soccer?

Browns fan here. Can we just talk about the draft instead?

"Maybe they should read the rule book." -Tom Brady last week in reply to complaints about the Patriots' unique formations against the Ravens.

It wasn't exactly where he intended it to happen, but at least Robert Allenby wound up getting his rocks off.