Aryan vs. Predator.

This one has been driving me crazy in the recaps all season long: At absolutely no point in time did anything in the show say that the phone number they were texted from belonged to Det Williams.

Spock

Wrong. The ump called him out on the field, so the video wouldn’t have proven otherwise.

I should say here: don’t do this. But if you do do this, do like Buchanan did and plan your escape route. And if you do that, and get away scot-free, don’t talk to the local news and give your name.

Twitter

I used to play pretty seriously. The rules are simple. The main goal is to achieve “The Queen’s Errand,” or have the most netted balls by the end of the crow’s watch. If the pepper is placed in your path, you have to wheel the cranberry using only the poetic side of your bike. The lines on the court indicate the…

“Um, we sent the Vikings to Mars forty years ago.”
-NASA

Pluto also has the same amount of Super Bowls wins as Minnesota.

John Wall: [pops champagne]

Simmons, Olbermann, Cowherd - ESPN Departes

+1

Did his horse at least show more humility?

Cookies are joy. I’m trying to figure out why y’all keep murdering joy before it gets a chance to grow up.

You know, I could list all the cases of Yelp extorting businesses (legally, somehow), or the fact that people leave terrible, lying reviews on these sites and nothing ever gets done about them, or the fact that I’ve eaten at places with great reviews that were fucking terrible (I can only assume these were places that…

That’s amazing. I had no idea that he had a lisp.

this comment acquits its namesake quite well

Cocktail sauce is really easy! You just pour out ketchup into a mixing bowl, and then yell at it.