His wife operates an inter-species erotica site called "One Horse/Open Slay"

"You're really trying to get me fired, aren't you?"

No, not you, England. Wait until Thursday.

By the way, Tom, maybe Deadspin can get the Vikings to comment on why they didn't feel the need "to allow the judicial process to move forward" when A.J. Jefferson was taken to jail by Eden Prairie police on probable cause of domestic assault in November 2013. They cut him the same day he was arrested.

For the exact same thing they didn't suspend him for several months ago.

In homage to Goodell, I am going to do everything possible to avoid watching this video.

No wonder they call her Miss Texas. She nearly did.

Notes: Andy Schwarz wrote an excellent article on the NCAA and issues related to amateurism which was brilliantly meta-designed to filter out commenters with miniscule attention spans.

The Twins knew about Poulson from his recent season with Academy of Art University, where he had an 8.38 ERA for the San Francisco school.

Or everyone just starts sending him pen after pen until he dies under a mountain of Bics.

I have 15 of them! Let me write that on your hand so you remember how many pens there are.

This is the dumbest asshole who can't find his pen since Girardi left Tanaka in too long

Pictured: Alabama's 2014 schedule

I give out autographs after sex too, but they usually just call it a "affidavit"

Is she really that popular, because I've never heard of herbivore.

There's nothing wrong with being competitive so long as your kid has a strong enough sense of self-worth to not care about winning at shit that just doesn't matter.

"Hey, bet you a round that I can do this improbable-sounding thing!"

"Go away"

Google should take the wheels off Brazil's car on their doodle.

Something tells me this isn't the first blockage his chest has experienced.

Maybe the ball did hit him and you just weren't able to see it. Carpenters have been known to perform miracles, you know.