A few minor quibbles...

I'd say that I hope Trump dies of asshole cancer but what has cancer ever done to deserve that punishment? 

It depends. Is that friend not only complicit but actively engaged in supporting a corrupt government that undermines the Constitution, marginalizes people of color, persecutes non-European immigrants and Muslims, and actively traumatizes children through the arbitrary enforcement of law? 

As you can see, time travel is, indeed, possible.

No. That's part of his job. It's the same reason why police officers are not eligible to collect rewards for catching wanted criminals. 

That is pretty much the Purvi Patel case. 

20 years? That’s nothing!

Trump has reportedly dispatched an elite force of commandos to raid the tombs of various tyrants from history in an effort to create Serpentor 2.0.

It’s kind of nasty looking. But not terrifying or anything like that.

“Open up! It's the police! We have reports of a suicidal black man and we wanted to see if we could help kill him." 

I disagree with Donald J. LePetomane Trump on virtually everything.

Food bounded by bread or a bread analog is a sandwich.

So I'll still be able to get a PBR in Utah is what you're saying. 

They are the worst things ever to come out of Waco.

If you have a valid fear of government retribution, you should first tell your government that you intend to leave the country.

When Marz has a short cut, she hardly seems real. She’s fleecy as a lamb and, because she’s still only a yearling, is as playful as a puppy.

About once a month, I get up the gumption to sweep near her crate.

Winter is Marzipan’s time.

The baby is 7 weeks old today and the dishwasher is now fixed. Sadly, because I was spending half an hour every night handwashing dishes, that time had to come from somewhere. And that somewhere was Marzipan’s grooming.

Thank you for showing your true colors with your whataboutism.